Jumping on the Dating Scene without a plan is a rather risky proposition. You’ll soon find out that Dating is a rather complex game like chess (just with less moving of wooden pieces and more human social interactions). As such, it is highly recommended that you prepare yourself before you dive headfirst into the world of dating.
And when it comes to Dating Tips, you’d rather arm yourself with the best and most actionable strategies out there. And these include the following.
1. Get to Know Her
If there is one thing that you should know, it is that you are setting yourself up for embarrassment or disappointment if you are relying too much on a person’s profile information on a dating site. Think about it this way: you might have entertained the thought of embellishing some parts of your life in your dating profile, so what’s stopping others from doing the same?
So how do you get to know a person? Well, most definitely, this will not involve stalking the woman because that is a serious crime. Take the time to learn of a person’s likes and dislikes by the way they move around in your presence. This will also give you an opportunity to find out if they are comfortable being in the same room with you.
Of course, this is assuming that you know the person off-line. If you have yet to meet that person in the real world, you have nothing else to rely on but their social media profiles. If that is the case, just dial the expectations down and take everything that they say online at face value. Also, don’t delve too much on their profile to find out who they are and what they like. It is kind of awkward if you tell them where they live and who their siblings are in your first meeting.
2. Take Things Slowly
The best strategy in dating is to slowly ease yourself in to their life. If you go straight for the jugular at the first meeting and try to get intimate with them, you run the risk of being branded a creep.
The better strategy is to keep things casual and friendly on the first few dates. You might want to start with group dates before both of you go on couples dates. Also, you might want to keep things at a safe distance at first. Only get to the “touchy feely” side of things if the first 10 dates that you had went well and both of you get to know each other more in every encounter.
3. Drink Responsibly
This is one tip that will not only help you in meeting the woman of your dreams but with life in general. If you are not new to drinking, it is best to not overindulge in alcohol in your first date with a girl.
The reason here is simple: alcohol loosens you up and releases you from your inhibitions. In other words, it might not give your personality a complete 180-degree turn but it will definitely release that wild side in you. In short, you’ll end up saying and doing things that might not make a good first impression.
As such, if both of you had to meet in a bar or a restaurant, keep things classy and controlled with no more than 3 glasses of beer or wine. If you want to impress them, order some cocktails. Just avoid drinks like the Long Island Tea. That drink will definitely get you drunk and stupid with a few sips.
4. Put Your Best Forward
And speaking of making a good first impression, it is best that you take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself this question: would anyone seriously find you attractive with the way you look like right now? If the answer lies more in the negative, it is best that you start investing on some good self-care products or a few fancy clothes (don’t go over your budget, though). Proper hygiene is also recommended so that you look and smell your best in your meeting.
But looks are just half of the equation. You also need to learn how to behave when in public. Freshen up on some social etiquette skills and try to be mindful of your body language. Learning how to carry a conversation works, too.
The point is that the person that that woman meets on that day is the best yet most authentic version of you. This segues into the next tip which is…
5. But Be Yourself
In a date, there is always that need to find a balance between the best version of you and, well, the true version of you. The reason is, for most of the time, both are not the same thing. If that girl thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread but find out that you are one sloppy mess once the suit comes off, could it be said that you were lying to her?
Conversely, if you present the truest version of you and that version is rude, messy, and abrasive, would you ever have the hope of finding the right woman in your life? As such, the middle ground for your dilemma would be this: touch up on the things that make you unattractive but behave in public in a manner that is not forced or fake.
Also, don’t spill the beans too much in your first few dates about your fears, your quirks, and the other parts in you that make you less attractive. You have to trust that that girl will genuinely love you for who you are in time. Full stop.
6. Compliments Help, Too
This is a rather simple yet effective technique that you can use. You see, acknowledgement and praise often registers well on the mind which eases tension and makes a person more comfortable. In as much as you have prepared for that date, so will the other person. So why not bring attention to the work that they have done by complimenting them on their dress and, if you have the nose for it, their choice of perfume?
Of course, there is a fine line between genuine compliments and mere flattery. Whatever compliment you can dish out must be real and sincere, not just given to pass the time or stall a conversation. And speaking of conversations…
7. The Two Way Rule
When it comes to dates, there is always the risk that you will end being the only person talking or the only one listening. A meeting where one person flaps their gums on and on while the other just nods and sips on their drink is not a date at all. That’s a lecture and lectures are, well, boring.
As such, you have to master the art of carrying a conversation. Know when and how to contribute to a talk without making everything about you.. Also, freshen up on some etiquette on communication. Don’t brush the person off as she is talking or derail her entire line of thought by adding your own thoughts.
If possible, ask some questions and give the person enough time to air out their thoughts. And if they don’t want to engage in a particular topic, don’t push the issue. At the very least, you should get to learn more about the person after the date. At most, you should be able to impress them with your social and communication skills.
8. Hands off the Phone
This is something that is effective not only in dating but also in socialization. A phone in your hand can mean two things. One, it could tell people that you are multitasking and your focus is not there. Two, it could tell that person that you are not interested in them since you are not giving them your full, undivided attention. More often than not, the second impression will stick when it comes to dating.
If possible, keep your phone in your pockets. Engage with the other person in a conversation. If you are just going to spend the entire night twiddling your fingers on that phone’s screen, then what was the point of going out in the first place? Keep that phone out of your hands for the remainder of the meeting so you don’t look uninterested or downright rude.
These are just some of the tips that can help you go through your first date as smoothly as possible. Aside from these, you should also have to rely on quick thinking and good old common sense to get through your first date. There is no assurance that you can impress that girl with these tips but, at the very least, you can make the time you spent with them productive. Maybe luck will favor you at that time and your first successful date will lead to another. Who knows?