A goal is a crucial element in success. Without it, you won’t have an idea as to what success for you would look like. This is the same in dating as you have to know what you are looking for and what you should be able to enjoy from once you have put the right amount of time and effort into reaching your goals.
The question is How. What should you do to set your goals and how could you go about reaching them? Here are a few tips to remember.
1. Write it Down
The first thing that must be done is for you to set everything down to paper. What are you looking for? How many months should you spend in the dating scene? What budget do you need to go through the dating phase successfully? Whatever concern you have, you have to put this into paper (or digitally, if you are tech-savvy).
The reason for this is simple: the brain tends to remember crucial details if it writes that information down. If you rely on your own memory, chances are that you are going to forget about your goals. But with a written plan, you have some reference as to what you need to achieve at this point. At the same time, you have something to analyze and determine how well you are progressing through your plan.
2. Be Objective (And Mature)
More often than not, you are finding a woman to be your partner on a long-term basis. As such, your goals should reflect a more realistic and mature view point of life. Sure, you can look for women that are pretty-looking and laugh at your jokes but you would be better off if they respect your time and know how to deal with conflict as well. The point is that your dating goals should be about finding a partner, not a cheap fling.
This also works the other way around. Set some goals for self-improvement by finding out what you need to work on yourself in order to be more attractive to people. A little bit of self-reflection goes a long way in making sure that you present the best version of yourself whenever you go out in public.
3. Refine Your Game Plan
Boundaries have to be defined before you even meet your potential partner. There is no such thing as the first date immediately leading to second base if you want that relationship to mean something. Perhaps you could set your first 5 dates to be the meeting where you get to know each other. Then, you could make the second dates even more romantic assuming that the first friendly dates were successful.
Of course, part of your game plan involves finding where to go and how much you are going to spend on each date. Unless the girl of your dreams is one of those strong, independent types, you can be certain that you are going to foot the bill in every meeting. So just make sure that you have enough for the date and some extra for unexpected expenses.
4. Set Your Support Unit
One of the mistakes that men make when they start dating is disconnecting with friends and family that could have otherwise supported them in their endeavor. You have to find a balance between your romantic relationship with a girl and every other relationship with your life.
The way you could do this is to make your romantic relationship fit with everything else, not the other way around. Set a date that both of you can agree to meet and stick to the plan. This way, your romantic relationship will not be a hindrance for the other important tasks in your life.
But a schedule is not enough. You also have to make sure that you do not unintentionally alienate yourself from your existing relationships. Take the time to explain to your friends and family of this new development in your life and allow them to offer advice for you. This way, your other relationships will be mobilized to actively aid you in maintaining this loving relationship with that girl.
5. Compatibility Matters a Lot
Since this will be a long-term relationship, it is best that you look for someone whose personality complements yours considerably. Compatibility is a must since both of you will have some differences which could lead to misunderstandings. But having the same outlook and maturity will go a long way in making sure that the relationship lasts.
What is compatibility, then? It involves more than their personality being in tune with yours. It will involve their whole being providing an opportunity for you to grow and for your being to do the same for them as well. In short, the time they spend with you will make both of you grow as individuals.
At the very least, this should help both of you come out of the relationship with a more mature outlook on life. At best, this should form a long-term relationship that will not become toxic as time passes.
Secret Tip: If you have come this far in the Blog section, there is one tip that you must always remember when setting goals: Don’t worry too much about finding someone. The thing about life is that the right person will come to you the moment that you stop making dating the end-all-be-all goal of your life.
Allow yourself some time to grow and develop. Perhaps you could improve on your skills while looking for the right person or get a new degree. Date for Love’s sake and not because you are becoming desperate. This way, you don’t dive head first into any opportunity for love which could lead to disaster late on.